I’m The Problem

I know I’m not perfect. I also know that I maybe the reason I don’t have a partner. I’m 31 years old. I don’t have a partner. I’m not with any of the kids’ fathers. I can’t make ANY relationship work. And when I tried It wasn’t enough. I am the problem. I HAVE to be. I am NOT looking for someone to take care of my kids. They are taken care of DAILY. I just want and need someone for me. I want someone to be there for me. Show up for me. I need love, real love from a man. From someone who isn’t just here to get laid and then leave once I’ve opened myself up. I want someone for me. I know I don’t need it, but I do want it. I do pray and wish I had someone. But I am the problem as to why no one wants me. After 2 years of being single. Legit single. I stayed by myself. Relearned myself and love myself more now than I ever loved myself. I am proud of who I am now. It took time but I love me. I can be home all day and I don’t ask anyone to come over. I love my peace and my quiet time. I am worthy of being with someone. I proved that to myself. I changed my whole life. I changed who I was to fit. So, I can and at least get a little of what everyone else has. I don’t no one’s man, I just want the companionship of someone who is MINE. Someone who is patient with me. I want that, I deserve it. But why have I not gotten it? It’s cause I’m the problem. Something is wrong with me. I’m not complaining and I’m not trying to make it a “poor me” story. Just venting. Just a few thoughts that take up a lot of space in my head. Just need to release these thoughts or I will explode inside. I’m definitely the problem. I don’t want to keep going through the same cycles, over and over again. I pray it stops soon. I am worth it.