There are times throughout the day where I catch myself thinking about you. It hurts still but It’s tolerable pain. I don’t know what made you do what you did. But I hope it gave you some peace. I hope you can sleep better through the night. (I’m not trying to sound like a smart ass) it’s the truth. I really hope it gave you peace. I have every right to be upset with you. But I’m not and (I hate myself for saying this but “I understand”). to an extent. I just pray for you, even when I think of you just in passing. I stop and pray for you, All the time. I don’t hate me for doing that, either. You had your good days and those were always good. When you had your bad days though, it lasted for days. Then doubt started to creep in, and then you started doubting me. All I ever tried to give you was a person to be there for you. (While I was going through my life change, the 1 thing I wanted most was for someone to be there for me). So, I tried to be that for you. You did try I give you that much. But again, doubt started whispering in your ear. I understand it’s hard for men to ask for help. They often fear being judged. And honestly, I wouldn’t have judged you. That’s all I wanted to be for you. But you pushed me away so many times just for you to come back. Apologize we will be fine for a couple days and then you would do it all over again to me. You are an unhealed man. A man I loved so dearly. But you need to get healed. And I pray you get everything you pray for. Because you do deserve it.
But this is just me thinking about you in passing.