I have always felt as If I was never good enough and for many years. I still feel this way. No one wants to do for me what they will do for others and that shows me that I am not worth it to any one., I have kids but NO I am not talking about them. I mean an adult companion. I know how i feel about myself I want what everyone has , I want real love. Someone to show me they are not ashamed or embarrassed to be with me. But i will never get that, No ,matter how many times I talk about what bothers me and what I need to feel like Im not worthless. No one wants to give me that and I feel like I will never find true love. Im getting sad more often because for 5 months I have been talking to 1 man and I have told him how my past has effected me and mind you WE ARE NOT TOGETHER, He wants a relationship but NOT with me, So why does he want me around? If he doesnt or cant find the will or want to be with me.! What is wrong with me? Really? What is It! Maybe I can fix it. My mind is driving me insane, my heart hurts from the constant hurt from this 1 person. Now i am trying to put space between he and I. I don’t deserve to keep getting hurt by him. He knows I like him more than he likes me, I let everyone know how i feel about him, I even told my ex that I have tried to move on and NOTHING is good enough for him. I HATE feeling like this and Its not fair for me to stick around IN DEEP HOPE thinking he will change his mind and his ways FOR ME. & thats not it so Im done. I guess I will never find someone who truly wants to be with me. I much rather come to terms with that than HOPING for something to happen that I know with mt whole heart will not come true for ME. I need to stop praying that I am worth it, when I have been shown many times I aint shit. & The one person who truly loves me, I cant even be with him cause I have damaged that relationship. Maybe its for the better I dont involved with this man , I dont want to damage him like all the either ones. I really just want someone, ANYONE to give me what I know I deserve. Whatever I did in my past I know I’m paying for it now.